Dead Time

I wrote this on the "L" in April 2002 and still it baffles me.

So, I'm reflecting on things.. Thinking about how sad it makes me when I'm witnessing the demise of the souls. I'm taken aback by what I've heard about you. I was told and though I thought I knew, I knew nothing really. My heart shatters and my mind is suffering because of the difficulty in finding out why you had to submit to such an unquenchable desire, one that will

only be fulfilled when you die.

This is "blow by blow" assassination in one of the deadliest forms. Injections of death, the blowing of dust, the collection of ashes. Now the final burial of life that once was. Can every tear I cry drown out the dust and wash out the injections and fill the burial plot? They can't. I don't want to say goodbye to you my sister. Please.. let me only say goodnight. Night. Noir is the color of the night where you search for death... and you can't even afford it. You can't even afford to die. So you beg and beg until someone loans you death, and if your next hit takes you there, you don't have to worry about repaying your deadly loan.

Get help. I will help you. Accept your gift of life and leave night behind.