My First Love

This night I cried buckets of tears.... all I wanted was my first love.

Because, when I talk to him I'll never have to wonder if he's listening because when I'm troubled he speaks peace to me. He desires to take my burdens and make them his own. Anything that concerns me, concerns him. He WANTS me to be dependent on him; to tell him everything. He doesn't want to use what he knows against me, threatening to leave because of what he knows. Whatever it is, he can handle it. His understanding surpasses any I've ever known. He understands every thing I feel and acts accordingly. I can be totally honest with him and he's incapable of telling me lies. When he tells me he loves me, I don't have to define it. It just is. I don't have to equate it with flattery or sex, money or time. When he says he'll do anyting for me.... he already has. He's been everywhere and can take me anywhere.

He is perfect in the truest sense of the word. He defines it, and embodies it. He's not selfish or inconsiderate, boring or lame. He's faithful and tender, kind and patient. He's attentive and helpful, comforting and full of peace. He's honorable and respectful, and he doesn't degrade the ones he loves. He can back up anything he says and doesn't waste time or words. He loves his mother and considers himself a servant.

He knows everything I wish I could but never makes me feel inferior because I don't. He honors the love shown to him and is satisfied by praise. He is successful, responsible and totally debt free. He's not tired or lazy; broken or suffering. When I am sick his touch heals me. When I have a question he always has an answer; he isn't sarcastic and obnoxious. He isn't cold-hearted and rude. He isn't slick and dishonest.

He loves to sit to sit with me in complete and peaceful silence. He doesn't want to use me for my body, dishonoring and defiling it. He doesn't pressure me or coerce me. He loves me and expects only pure love in return. He isn't a push-over nor is he invasive. He's gentle and does everything in order. He is rich and owns everything; yet haughtiness repulses him. He has connections in all the right places and will use them when necessary. He's a mover and a shaker and he gets the job done right. He fights for me and wins every time. He's supportive and motivating. He does nothing begrudgingly; because he's more than willing. He's witty and personable, smart and experienced.

There's nothing more important than my well being. Nothing will take his eyes off of me.... He'll never forget my birthday and our anniversary. He takes care of his children and loves them unconditionally. He's powerful and strong yet he doesn't yell or shout, curse me or abuse me. He feeds me and quenches my thirst. He fulfills every desire with ease; catering to my needs like no one ever has. He's graceful and cultivated, not phony or pretentious. His words are never shallow; speaking to the core of me, they infiltrate my soul.

He's grounded and stable-minded, not fickle and indecisive. He has an eye for detail and he doesn't skip a beat. He's never late, always prompt. He can keep a secret.. he won't tell a soul. He's very laid back with an incredible sense of humor. He doesn't hold anger and doesn't linger in the streets. He's talented and gifted.

Just knowing him, makes me a better person. he loves to give surprises and he will always make me smile. When I call him he never ignores my call, the line is never busy and the battery is never dead. Reception is always perfect and I've never even heard his voicemail. I can call him all throughout the day and he never rushes me off the phone.

This man loves me especially different because he's MORE than a man...He holds my heart in the cuff of his hands like an injured bird. He says meaningful words to me and whispers total truth in my ear. He wakes me up every morning and showers me with gifts only he could provide. He showers me with w/promises of joy & sweet peace. He pleases me and oh how I adore him. He never gets on my nerves, his touch is like pure silk, healing me to the depths of my soul, mending my heart, instructing me, and leading me. He speaks to every corner of mind, body and soul. He wipes my tears and removes all my fears.

He knows what's best for me and I can trust him to make the best decisions concerning me. He is my King, yet he serves ME with peace and love. I mean the world to him and he shows it. I'm not ashamed of him so he's not ashamed of me. He's all I've ever needed and more...So, to you....... I know you've been waiting, so patiently waiting for me. You set the standard for me and I've been settling for less.. Downgrading at every turn. I'm tired of having less than you would give, I'm tired of being broken when you could easily fix me. Help me to find you again, the one of my dreams, desire of my heart. You are truly my "soul mate". I can never fully return the love you have for me, because it shines so bright I can hardly even endure it. I want to love you though; it's all I've ever wanted to do. I'm reaching for you; please rescue me with a kiss of life. Anoint me in purity and teach me your ways. I miss you, let me find you again. I need you. I've been looking for something I'll never find in another. In all of my seeking I've simply been looking for you.

Hear me now....Lord.... you are my first love.